Last night, when I first moved you
To your proper 'big girl's' bed,
I checked on you and there you were-
Your trousers on your head,
You'd used your potty as a stool
And pulled down all your toys
And somehow you had done it
With the minimum of noise.
You'd taken off your nappy,
In the dimness I could see-
Your toys all gently resting there
In rivulets of wee.
And brandishing your nightlight high
You ran across the room.
A statuette of liberty
You glistened in the gloom.
Tonight, for all your wicked crimes,
You cheeky little tot,
I'm putting you BEHIND SOME BARS
And back inside your cot.